Monday, April 2, 2012

Struggles

Last night, as I often do, I got caught up reading the last few months of posts on our blog.  I was sorta've surprised how happy and great life looked, because it really hasn't felt that way.  At all.  I, by no means, want to be all negative and complainy, but I'd hate to think I was painting an unrealistic picture.

So, I thought I'd try to share a bit more of "reality." 


The last couple months, Maggie, who has been potty trained for over a year, has started having accidents ALL THE TIME.  EVERYWHERE.  It has been so hard for me to understand and try to work through.  Obviously, I have no previous experience in this department and I've felt unbelievably helpless.  And frustrated.  And angry.  Today, we finally went to the doctor to see if it might be medical, and indeed, Maggie may have a "spastic bladder."  There is medicine to help treat it, so prayers to heaven this will end soon.

My other challenge right now is keeping up with the kids.  With Audrey in the mix, our house goes from looking spotless to "barn animals live here" in moments.  Seriously, moments.  I know having a clean house isn't the most important thing, but messes throw me into a serious funk.  It makes me so cranky and edgy, which leads to a whole new plethora of problems.  Three kids 4 & under is hard.  Especially when they're all gifted in the art of destruction.

View from the purple park.

I suppose all of this is topped off by depression.  This winter has been rough for me mentally, and as much as I would love to pull out of it, it just doesn't seem to be happening.  I have felt better these past few days as the sun has been out more.  I really hope it lasts.  The toll on my family, Eric especially, is difficult.

Don't get me wrong, all of the happy things I have blogged have happened too, they're just not the only things happening.  I do want to be a person who focuses on the positive, so I'll leave you with this:


We bought these fruit crates a while back, and they've been sitting on our kitchen counter empty.  After our last trip to Costco, I was busy unloading the car and putting things away.  When the dust finally settled I found the crates full to the brim.  Mags had carefully arranged the fruit we'd just bought in them.  It made my heart SMILE.

9 comments:

Meg Shaver said...

Thanks for sharing your piece of reality. I love you. and your honesty. And the fruit crates picture is precious and looks delish!

julie said...

potty training... It makes me want to use four letter words some times. I gave up. I didn't think of the fish tank incident as "life is perfect". However, I hope you are having a good life. I hope the spring will bring even happier days.

Kate said...

Great post! And the crates are awesome... it's the little things in life...

Annie H. said...

I struggle in the winter, too. You are not alone! I love those fruit crates -- VERY cute and colorful, and just what you need in the winter dreariness!! (Where did you find them??)

Leah said...

I'm grateful for the "let's get real" post. It's comforting to hear that my life as a SAHM isn't the only life that sucks sometimes. I hate when people portray constant perfectness in their blogs. I appreciated this! =)

deveney said...

after crying for most of the day, it was great to remember that i am not the only one struggling. i have thought about doing a post similar to this, but like you don't want to be whinny....i have loads of sunshine, but i have just been in a funk for a few weeks. i hope things are looking up soon-hope to see you in amonth for girl's weekend-it is sure to be sunny! hugs:) (because i know you love hugs so much:;)

Dad said...

I had to look up SAHM, thought I had forgotten another syndrome. Life has ups and downs, the plan makes it that way. Just try and keep an eternal viewpoint of somethings, and an eighteen year view of others. In 18 years your problems will all have moved out. Though I may have been moved in.

Kendra said...

I love hearing the honest perspective of life as well. I've been missing you and wishing we saw more of you. I figured you've just been so busy (and you obviously are) and happy in your business. I'm sorry you're having your own frustrations and especially the seasonal depression to add to it. I think you always do such an amazing job as a mom and wife and I really do look up to you. You're doing good work...even if it doesn't always feel that way. And I love your last story of Maggie and the fruit. So cute! I hope we can see you soon. Virtual hugs! (since as Dev said...you love them do much) ;)

Laura Horne said...

Thank you everyone! Your comments mean so much to me. It is such a blessing to know that I am not alone.

Julie-I am having a good life.

Annie-fruit crates are from anthropologie.

Dad- DNR, right?

Dev & Kendra-I accept your hugs...virtual hugs might be my "thing."